Today, I watched a video on youtube in which girls were drunk and were using abusive language in their chit-chat; just like some boys normally do after consuming alcohol (Sorry, I can't share video here. It will not be good for those girls in the video). Also, I don't want to focus on the video. After some lighter conversations with one of my friends about the video (we both know some of the girls in the video), we had some good discussion. I would like to share some part of it with my own views on the issue.
He said; "If girls do such kind of crap after getting boozy is the height of insanity". Well, this is height of insanity for anyone whether; it's a boy or girl. Why is it ok for boys but not for girls? Why to single out girls for this?
Acc. to him "If we see our culture or the trend from the past; the girls were innocent" I agree to some extent. But was this the culture only? As I see, males (brother and/or father before marriage; husband after marriage) were dictating terms and deciding the fate of girl in the family. Now, also, they are doing the same but extent is less as compare to the past. This is hypocrisy on our side. If somebody wants to name it culture then, he/she can do. Will it change the reality?
Then, he said "As in our society, it will be ok to the parents if their son comes home late night with his friends after taking a heavy dose of alcohol and smoking. It is problematic but acceptable after undergoing certain negotiations. But for girls, it will not be really less than a trauma for parents and society. We are not used to see such drastic changes" Again, this is hypocrisy of parents and society as well.
Here I am not supporting the action by the girls in the video. My only point is why to use different yardsticks for boys and girls? Why to have different standards simply based on the gender? It reminds me of a forum discussion which I had few days back with some of my friends; "Is the education sufficient to empower women?" I would like to share my views on the topic. You can read the entire discussion in the link above. Well, I don't think that education is sufficient to empower women. Education can help up to some extent but will not empower women. People are educating girls. But, are they really doing it with the intention of empowering them? No, they are doing it to get them married. In-spite of being of the leading developing countries in the world, we are struggling to maintain balanced sex-ratio. In contrast to this, China and Korea are succeeding in bringing back the equality. If not worst, at least really bad sex ratio is in the leading states of the country , Haryana, Punjab, Delhi where illiteracy is lower than the other parts of the country. Dowry is still there in the system. Even, educated and working girls are not getting the respect which they deserve, in the families (neither before marriage nor after marriage). Even, before marriage, they don't have much say in critical decisions related to their career and/or marriage. Males of the family (father/brother before marriage and husband after marriage) are assuming their right to decide the future of girls in the family (I mentioned few personal experiences in the forum discussion). I agree with Bhupender Singh's point in the discussion; "Education may help girls in getting equality, but to what extent? Girls have to decide themselves about that."
Till the point, people would not change their mentality, things will not change significantly. If we as a society would not come out of mentality that "लडकिया तो पराया धन है "; we should forget about equality based on gender. Also, this equality is essential not only for development for girls but also for us as a society. If we are dreaming to become developed without removing gender discrimination, then, I am so sorry, it will remain a dream forever.
I am not saying anything against family culture in India. Parents make enormous sacrifice for their children. Concept of joint families is still here in India. This is something we must feel proud. Now, the bigger question is: are we ready to accept the negative side of this? No improvement or little improvement would take place until we don't accept dark side of anything. It is time for us to do introspection. Sooner we do it, better for us.